play-by-play greening – Talkin’ Trash, February 2013

Opening scene: a montage of UHN hospitals flashes to the beat of a familiar theme song “Dum-de-dum-de-dummmm”. Fade to two commentators seated on reclaimed chairs, behind a refurbished desk.

Ron MacLean Like Figure: Good morning sustainability fans and welcome to another installment of Greening Day at UHN.

Don Cherry Like Figure: Climate’s changin’, garbage is pilin’ up and skies are gettin’ smoggier…this is gonna be a good one folks!

RMLF: And we’re ready for action. We have Helen starting off in the Nurse’s lounge…looks like break time is over and she’s the last one left in the room as she heads to the door. She stops, turns off the TV and, Holy Mackinaw, with a quick flick off the wrists she shuts off the lights.

DCLF: What a great play by a class act. Not only is she saving UHN money, she’s reducing pollution as well. Put that in your free range soypuccino and drink it!

RMLF: And now we shift to Ingrid and Stephanie as they approach the drug disposal bin. Looks like Ingrid’s got a half-full piggy-back IV and Stephanie the left-over of a bottle of pills no longer needed by a patient. And, wow, look at the coordination as they take turns to dispose of the meds in the drug waste bins.

DCLF: Well obviously those two know the meaning of, “If you’re dumping it, you’re drinking it!” Way to keep the air and water clean, Ingrid and Stephanie. Put that on your fair trade anchovies and eat them!

RMLF: Quite the action packed start to the day, and we haven’t even touched on all the folks bringing their own cup for their morning beverage. But we’re back in action…looks like Greg is cleaning up his desk.

DCLF: About time he does that. Looks like he has some non-confidential paper, a couple of paper coffee cups from way back before he had his travel mug, some batteries and a toner cartridge.

RMLF: He certainly has his work cut out for him…let’s see how he does. Okay – he’s put the paper in the paper recycling bin…he reaches over, cuts to his left and drops the coffee cups in the “cans & bottles” recycling bin and is on his way to recycle the batteries and cartridges…what moves, what a performance!

DCLF: Now there’s someone who knows that at UHN metal, glass, plastic and containers for recycling need to be kept separate from paper. There’s gonna be a little extra cash in UHN’s pocket thanks to Greg’s efforts. Put that in your high efficiency LED light and turn it off.

RMLF: And now we move to another unit. We’re focussed on Suzie…she’s found some sort of blue liquid in an unlabelled bottle in the back of the storage cabinet. She’s reaching for the phone and she’s calling Energy & Environment to find out how to dispose of it responsibility.

DCLF: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, “If you’re dumping it, you’re drinking it!” Put that in your fair trade paper bin and recycle it.

RMLF: And for our final play of the day, we’re looking at UHN’s dashing Manager of Energy & Environment.

DCLF: Didn’t he have more hair last time we saw him?

RMLF: You know, I think you’re right. But as the play starts…he’s up to his eyeballs in policies, key performance indicators, strategic plans and…hang on a second, looks like he’s using an ISO 14001 based Environmental Management System framework to manage the whole thing…what a way to close out the day!

DCLF: Talk about Achieving Global Impact. Put that in your hospital and green it!

Closing scene: a montage of the thousands of UHN staff who make sustainability part of their day flashes as something by Beyoncé plays. Fade to black.

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